at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
