I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
