just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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