I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had sex on a roof
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
