i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
