6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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