You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The uberlube is also flammable
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
