When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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