Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
