No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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