Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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