I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
