I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
