i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
