Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize