Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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