At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
