I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
