Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
