their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
