Betty ford says i'm here all night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love you. Go after that dick
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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