he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
