I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
