I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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