It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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