Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
