hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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