She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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