Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
