Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I could make wine with my vomit
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
