Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
