My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
