They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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