Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
