I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Boobs speak an international language.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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