watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize