is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Boobs speak an international language.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
