In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
