everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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