So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize