I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
