another moral hangover. fuck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
