I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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