New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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