OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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