Where is the hickey?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
