please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
