ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
