where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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