I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
