Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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