He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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