Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize