I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry my hands just texted you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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