so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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