"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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