You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
