is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
