i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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