I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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