is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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