dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Sacagawea was the original milf.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
