Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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